Posted on by Nelson · 36 Comments

Not dead yet…

So, here I am again. Yes, I’ve had a few drinks. Are we surprised? Of course not.

I’d like to try an experiment. I have over 300 followers — that’s a lot of people! I have no idea how many of you will receive this update. That part of WordPress I don’t quite understand, but whatever.

So, my experiment — well, it’s not an experiment. It’s a cry for help. You see, since Covid-19 hit, I’ve lost almost all of my social life, which included my bar friends too. So, having to isolate, live alone, has been very, very, difficult for me, to say the least.

I truly believe that a big reason why I have not been able to stop drinking this time is because since Covid-19 hit I have been so starved for social contact, especially from my bar friends but also from many others who I used to be in contact with on a regular basis. So what I’m proposing to those of you who do get this, is that we do something totally different.

First, I would really, really, like to hear from you. I am so starved for social contact. Please, PLEASE help me, please comment on this post or email me (onedrunkstale@gmail.com) and perhaps even share it to help me to regain some contact with you and others!!! I truly believe that my lack of social contact has made it that much harder for me to quit the drink again. I also believe that many people like me cannot stop drinking for the same reason…even before Covid…going way back.

Second, I’d like to suggest that we start a Zoom meeting of some sort. When you do Zoom, you don’t have to show your picture!!! You can just sign on with whatever name you like and join in anonymously. If enough of you are interested, I will pay for a subscription to Zoom so that we can all finally do this here together. Let me know!

I truly believe that if I can get enough support here in the comments section and email, PLUS as a bonus get into some Zoom sessions with you, that with that increased social contact, I WILL be able to stop drinking again. Will you help me? I hope so.

So there you go folks. Let’s see what happens next.

Nelson

Posted on by Nelson · 7 Comments

Breaking the chains that bind…

longpath

I’ve been away for a few months, I know. This whole Covid-19 thing really got me. I’ve always been a bit of a germaphobe and a hypochondriac. I never imagined, although I did fear a pandemic for years and years, but never really imagined it would happen — but it did. And it has targeted older people, like me, with per-existing conditions, like me.

In the meantime, I haven’t cared about my drinking. It’s given me many nights of comfort and solace, especially since I live alone. Thankfully, I found a new friend during all of this…we have met almost every night in a beautiful little green space close to here…she has been a godsend really. I am so grateful. She’s also an alcoholic — worse than me actually, but that hasn’t mattered. We’ve sat together in that green space — that wasn’t so green back in March, but gradually became so — on a bench, one on each end the whole time, keeping our distance, although we did hug a couple of times, when we both needed it most, and did so without fear, just love.

The “new normal” has become somewhat ok. I’m getting used to it. My new normal with the drinking, however, has had to come to an inevitable end, else it kills me. I’m so grateful that it hasn’t yet. I am ready, however, to let it go again, and work back towards sobriety. That is truly what I want most. I started back on that path today, staying home, having a fair bit to drink still, but less than usual, to start a taper-down. I’m hopeful, and optimistic.

May it be so. (((Hugs))) – to all of you who have been suffering emotionally during this very difficult time. May we see our way through, to health and peace.

Nelson

Posted on by Nelson · 1 Comment

Drunk is as drunk does…

Yep, still alive. Drinking like a drunken sailor on a one-way trip to hell. Other than that…? Thank God I’ve got an iron-liver.

Hoping y’all out there haven’t died from Covid yet. I have been sneezing all day, but I’m hoping it’s just allergies.

Nelson

Posted on by Nelson

Covid-19 deaths destined to be??? I think not.

A friend recently described our wold-wide Covid-19 deaths as, “An accelerator of the inevitable”, meaning the old and infirm and weak will ultimately die, soon enough, regardless. Say what!? Let our loved ones die prematurely because they are slated to die soon anyway!? Holy crap. That isn’t compassion. That isn’t love.

Sadly, the choices that our politicians make these days are determining our fate. Economics is a political science, a societal point of view. We could change that point of view going forward, revamp it, revolutionize it, so that close to NO lives need to be lost while this disease ravages its way through us.

I’m for new political systems, new economic views — a new way for all of us going forward. Out with the old, in with our long overdue and needed cleansing of our current and old sociopolitical views. We need to awake from our slumber folks! Let’s do what’s best for what’s needed NOW, regardless of politics or economics! The choices we make now can determine the ultimate fate of humanity! Well, our choices will, either way — so why not make the change now and do what’s best for humanity!!?? Why not, indeed!?

 

Posted on by Nelson

One last sip…

sunset

Greetings fellow drinkers, or past drinkers or those who prefer to pontificate upon the vicissitude of life, and their freedom from the demon drink, who chat idly about death, about how much we’re “learning” from this experience with Covid-19’s intrusion upon our lives.

As for me, while a great student of religion, philosophy, psychology, etc., etc., today I am left with this: If a vaccine is not found soon, 70 to 80% of the worlds population will be infected within the next year. A great many of our older and infirm will die. As for those of us younger, it’s a crap shoot. WHEN we get it, most of us younger folk will make it through relatively well. Some no. And WHO, pray tell are YOU? None of us knows.

This is not a time to meditate upon the meaning of life and death, to wantonly philosophize about it all. This is a time to grab hold of the god damn seat beneath you and hope for the fucking best. And if it doesn’t take you out, God have mercy, please don’t let it take out some of our loved ones — but it most likely will, if it hasn’t already. A dear friend lost her sister to it today.

As they say, “We’re all in this together”…ya ok, sure, that sounds really nice, but the truth is we’re all in this individually, up against a beast that we have no idea where it lurks — boo! Just as quickly, it can get us and take us to the grave tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or next month. Such is the nature of it.

Let’s not wax philosophically now folks. Let’s just grab hold of each other as best we can during this totally unpredictable time, and share our love, our comfort, our care, our compassion…cause THAT is what — THAT is WHO we are. Fellow citizens during this oh-so-too-brief of a time on this plane of being that we call “Life”.

Nelson ((((hugs))))